Beneath the Surface

the words i speak in silence

2006-09-27T15:26:00.000-07:00

Here's the story:
Under the bright night sky, we walk together side by side; inches apart, we remain separated by the infinite distance of the universe. The powers have conspired to bring us together on this beautiful night. They have heard and answered the prayers of a lonely heart. And they have granted me my wish of being with you.

Under this beautiful blanket of stars, I say my prayer. I thank the powers for granting me my wish and ask for the strength and courage to finally say what this heart of mine dreams of. I pray in silence, and smile in secret for being with you tonight. In silence, I say the words that I long to say. In silence, I confess the truth I hold within. In silence, I say I love you.

A girl dreams of flowers and butterflies. A girl dreams of having her own fairy tale romance; a girl dreams of a thousand beautiful things. And I dream of being with you… And I long to say the words I say in silence; and I dream of you confessing the same truth…

I walk here beside you, but I remain as I am, invisible. I am your companion and your friend, and I will never be more than that to you. But I still dream that you’ll feel the same way as I do. In silence, I say I love you.

I confess my truth in silence because I know that you’ll never listen. I love you in secret because you never seem to care. I hide the truth deep within my heart because I know you love someone else. And I keep my heart silent because yours belongs to another. This why I say I love you in silence.

We walk together under this beautiful night sky but I know that you’re never with me; I know that I shall remain your companion and nothing more. The powers have granted me my wish of being with you. But they have made me realize that I shall remain forever invisible to you. I have you here beside me under the stars; but your heart belongs to someone else. And I know that I’ll have to say the words I long to say in silence.

“I love you”, these are the words I say in silence. And this is the truth that shall forever remain a secret.

untitled

2006-09-27T15:21:00.000-07:00

soon, i'll be making the biggest decision of my life... one that will change the way things are... and i hope, God permits, i'll never have any regrets and everything will turn out just fine... :)

LSS..

2006-09-25T19:36:00.000-07:00

"araw-araw maghihintay
hawak lamang
ang sinabi mong
baka mahal mo rin ako.
tama na sa aking
minsa'y binigyan mo
ng pag-asa
basta't mahal kita..."

Bituin at Buwan

2006-09-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

“Falling in love is like looking at the stars. If you pick one out of the billions and stare at it long enough, all the others just melt away.”
Totoo. Maraming bituin sa langit. At kapag nakita mo ang isang bituin na nakakuha ng iyong atensyon, hindi mo na mapapansin ang iba. At kahit araw, linggo, o buwan na ang lumipas, kahit marami nang makakapal na ulap ang tumakip dito, makikilala mo pa rin ang natatanging bituing iyon. At sa bandang huli, ang bituing iyon lang ang tititigan mo’t susubaybayan sa ‘twing sasapit ang gabi.
At sigurado, hindi lang ikaw ang nakakapansin sa bituing iyon. Marami kayong nakasubaybay sa napili ninyong bituin. Marami kang kaagaw. Pero patuloy mo lang hahangaan ang bituing iyon na parang siya ay sa’yo lamang.
Darating ang panahon at pupunta ka sa ibang lugar. Makakakita ka ng bituing higit na makislap sa nauna. At makakalimutan mo rin ang naunang bituin na iyong kinahumalingan.
Bilyun-bilyon nga naman ang mga bituin sa kalangitan. Hindi pa yan ang lahat. Marami pa. Sadyang marami kang maaaring pagpipilian. Marami kang maaaring kahumalingan. Pero ang buwan, iisa lang.
Ang buwan, kapag wala itong liwanag, akala mo ay wala siya. Kaya mapapansin mo ang mga bituin sa langit. Mas makislap. Mas maliwanag. Dahil wala ang liwanag ng buwan. Pero habang ang buwan ay nagkakaroon ng liwanag, unti-unting nawawala sa iyong paningin ang liwanag ng mga bituin. Masyado kang nabibighani sa kahali-halinang liwanag ng buwan at sa katotohanang napakalapit nito sa’yo.
Napansin mo ba? Kapag kabilugan ng buwan kung kailan ito napakaliwanag, pansinin mo, tila lalong lumayo ang mga bituin sa iyong tanaw. Tila hindi na sila makislap. Hanggang sa tuluyan mo na silang hindi mapapansin. Ganyan kapag nagmahal ka. Ganyan kapag mahal mo na. Hindi mo na makikita ang iba. Makita mo man sila, hindi mo naman mapapansin. Dadaanan lang ng mga mata mo at hindi mo na papansinin. Wala kang ibang nakikita o tinitingnan. Siya at tanging siya lang.
Kaya kapag nagmahal ka, para kang nakatitig sa buwan at hindi sa bituin. Wala kang nakikitang iba. Patuloy ka lang na mahuhulog sa gayuma ng liwanag niya. At kahit dumating ang panahon na mawala ang liwanag niya, alam mong babalik iyon. Masisilayan mo rin. Kailangan mo lang maghintay. At pag dumating ang panahong iyon, titigan mo ang buwan na tila alam mong mawawala rin ang liwanag nito. Na parang napakatagal bago mo masilayang muli ang napakaganda nitong liwanag. Dahil ang liwanag ng buwan ay nawawala. At bumabalik rin. Parang pag-ibig.

an update, at last!

2006-09-16T20:04:00.000-07:00

shocks! im back! grabe! :D

tgal ko nang hndi nkapag-update.. ayon nga kay ate kat, pwede na itong idonate sa archives.. hahaha.. nasira kasi ang telepono nmin s bhay. actually, hndi nasira.. basta un, kuya, may kuwan! :)

before anything else, i just want to clear (make bawi) things regarding my last post. ung kanta na para sa akin by sitti... actually, i did overdo what i wrote. what i mean is, now, i dont see that song as the best one. the title,"may kanta pa bang mas gaganda dito?", is pathetic and lame. looking back, i can't imagine what i was feeling that led me to give my post its title.

for the time being, hindi na iyon ang best song para sa akin. it was an outburst of my immature, impulsive and unrealistic self. hehe

now, i know better. yes, finally. i don't need to dwell deeper on what i mean but i'm happy and satisfied now. and i admit, i wouldnt be if it wasnt for the friday sessions of VCF.

ang labo ng blog kong ito. just bear with me :D baka rin may mga grammatical errors... hehe

God is good, all the time. He put a song of praise in this heart of mine. God is good all the time. From the darkest nights, His light will shine...

aray!

2006-09-16T05:15:00.000-07:00

akala ko malakas ako. malakas ang resistance ko sasakit. pero hindi pala! shoot! naiiyak na ako! huhuhu :'( for this month of september up to october, every week na ang visit ko sa dentist para maayos na ang ngipin ko! imagine, every week hndi ako makakakain... every week sasakit ang gums and teeth ko! :(

minsan, nagsisisi na ako at pumayag pa ako magpalagay ng bakal sa ngipin ko! shoot talaga! hndi ko na ginagandahan ang post na ito kasi hndi mganda nrrmdman kO! :) hehe

for 1 month, walang wire sa babang part ng teeth ko. accdg to my dentist, ung taas muna para hndi sumbay ng galaw ung baba. ang case ko kasi open bite. so, bear with me. im not a dentist and not near to being one... back tot he story,so nwala ang pressure at nsanay na ang lower part na wlang restrictions kumbaga! and then knina kinabitan na ulit ng wire ang lower part at mas maliit na wire ang ginamit so mas ipit ang ngipin ko! aray tlga!

now, i can't even contemplate my own pain....

mula 530 hndi pa ako kumakain at honestly, gutom na ako... but what can i do!? the mere touch of my lower teeth to the upper causes terrible pain. kung hndi lang nkmmatay ang overdose ng pain reliever! shoot tlga!

and imagine next week and the weeks to come, greater pain pa ang mafifeel ko dahil llgyan ng elastic bond! kamusta nman! alisin mo na ito doc! :(

and last but not the least! kanina, winelding ang ngipin ko! (well, hndi literally, pero ganon na din un..) binawsan para magkaroon ng space :(

well, enough said..
till next time :D

may kanta pa bang mas gaganda dito?

2006-07-26T02:30:00.000-07:00

PARA SA AKIN by SITTI :o)
Kung ika’y magiging akin
Di ka na muling luluha pa
Pangako hndi ka lolokohin
Ng puso kong nagmamahal

Kung ako ay papalarin
Na ako’y iyong mahal na rin
Pangakong ikaw lang ang iibigin
Magpakailanman

Hindi kita pipilitin
Sundin mo ang iyong damdamin
Hayaan na lang tumibok ang puso mo
Para sa akin

Kung ako ay mamalasin
At meron ka nang ibang mahal
Ngunit patuloy ang aking pag-ibig
Magpakailanman

wow. thought to live by. :o)

2006-07-25T02:05:00.000-07:00

In the end, only three things matter: how fully you lived, how deeply you loved and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you. -Gautama Buddha

The Words I Speak in Silence

2006-07-24T21:34:00.000-07:00

Under the bright night sky, we walk together side by side; inches apart, we remain separated by the infinite distance of the universe. The powers have conspired to bring us together on this beautiful night. They have heard and answered the prayers of a lonely heart. And they have granted me my wish of being with you.

Under this beautiful blanket of stars, I say my prayer. I thank the powers for granting me my wish and ask for the strength and courage to finally say what this heart of mine dreams of. I pray in silence, and smile in secret for being with you tonight. In silence, I say the words that I long to say. In silence, I confess the truth I hold within. In silence, I say I love you.

A girl dreams of flowers and butterflies. A girl dreams of having her own fairy tale romance; a girl dreams of a thousand beautiful things. And I dream of being with you… And I long to say the words I say in silence; and I dream of you confessing the same truth…

I walk here beside you, but I remain as I am, invisible. I am your companion and your friend, and I will never be more than that to you. But I still dream that you’ll feel the same way as I do. In silence, I say I love you.

I confess my truth in silence because I know that you’ll never listen. I love you in secret because you never seem to care. I hide the truth deep within my heart because I know you love someone else. And I keep my heart silent because yours belongs to another. This why I say I love you in silence.

We walk together under this beautiful night sky but I know that you’re never with me; I know that I shall remain your companion and nothing more. The powers have granted me my wish of being with you. But they have made me realize that I shall remain forever invisible to you. I have you here beside me under the stars; but your heart belongs to someone else. And I know that I’ll have to say the words I long to say in silence.

“I love you”, these are the words I say in silence. And this is the truth that shall forever remain a secret.

- galing sa isang mabuting kaibigan / kumot :)
- isang pagpapatunay ng angking talento

in the midst of having nothing to do

2006-07-24T20:50:00.000-07:00

" That is why I write - to try to turn sadness into longing, solitud einto remembrance." -By the River Piedra, I sat down and wept

message to no one

2006-07-24T20:31:00.000-07:00

Don’t leave me hoping when there is nothing to hope for.
Don’t leave me wanting something that I can’t really have.
Don’t leave me dreaming of us when in reality there is only me, and only you

freedom.

2006-07-21T06:04:00.000-07:00

God gave us the freedom to choose whom to love. but isn't it ironic? The person we love also has the freedom not to love us back , not to respond.

why can't it be?

2006-07-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

You came along, unexpectedly
I was doing fine in my little world...

Why can't it be
Why can't it be the two of us
Why can't we be lovers
Only friends

You're in my dreams
You're always in it
That's the only place I know
Where you could be mine
And I'm yours but only
Till I wake up
--------------------------
*why can't it be
sung by rannie raymundo

this is it.

2006-07-16T12:45:00.000-07:00

beneath the surface-- the sound of silence. the sight of nothing.

sidebar: argh! kakagising ko lang! ito ang inaabot ng isang nilalang na natutulog ng 3 ng umaga! talk about katamaran! :( hay. kailangan ko pang maligo, kumain at makipagtagpo sa isang kaibigan patungo sa labanan ng dalawang nag-uumpugang unibersidad, ang pinakamalagaling at walang tatalo laban sa pumapangalawa lamang. (i'm referring to UAAP game this afternoon- UP vs ADMU, just to make things clear. =p) wahehehe! ang sama ko talaga! sige, kitakits! :)

2006-07-15T11:25:00.000-07:00

love it?! :) me? i definitely do! wahehe. ika nga, love your own. =p isn't it lovely? (of course! it's me in the pic.) kidding aside, there are two reasons why I love this picture turned wallpaper (because I'm already using it as a desktop background...)

1. i'm amazed on how someone can edit pictures and come up with this. got it? i mean, i know the program responsible for this masterpiece which is photoshop, but nevertheless, i still can't do something like this or even close to this. i don't know what command to use and nah nah.. techie stuff and i admit, i'm not into those stuffs. wish i'm a computer genius. :(

2. know from whom it came from? to my ever loving inca! :) thanks! i really appreciate this. haha and i have the other 4 (naku! pwedeng pang-blackmail kay ate ros, ate kristyl, oliver at daniel! ) :) lagot!

hay, it's already 2 31 am in my watch but it seems that Sleep (perosnification) is not yet in the corner. may binisita pa yata! hehe naku. i keep telling my orgmates goodnyt well, in fact, it's early morning. i'm not myself talaga. something's bothering or depressing me but i don't know the culprit of these negative emotions. i don't know why i feel this way. damn! i even don't know what i feel! (is this loneliness, depression, hunger?) *sigh

anyway, i used this pic (the child pic, in the sailor costume) for our first sem's sig sheet! :) there's a part where the apps will guess whose baby pic is this and that. arrgh! i really think my english sucks! gosh! i need a lot of practice so don't be amazed if EVERY nyt, i have at least 2 or more posts. waheheh! joking! :) back to the pics, i know it's REALLY interesting especially when you don't recognize him/ her and be surprised to finally know who that child is. :)

hay. iyong sa akin, u know what the comments are? "ikaw ba ito? bakit mapayat?'' grr!

just a thought.

2006-07-15T08:35:00.000-07:00

i have always been fascinated by the saying "kung hindi ukol, hindi bubukol."in fact, i used it as a "motto" in life when LIKAS had a sort of bonding session after a general assembly one starry night of july. (i can't remember the exact date) well, it was a sort of reality check session to remind the whole body of what we're going through and the measures we have to meet to be able to prove we are still the fittest! woohoo. (survival of the fittest ang drama!) hehe :)

and it is only now that i capture its meaning and sense. if something or someone is not meant for you, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you desire it, it just won't be. period. it's an essential part of life that no one can change. it's a fact. and as hard as it seems, i have to accept it. yes, i have to. :)

07.15

2006-07-15T07:59:00.000-07:00

wow! it is my first time to have a blog and if not for lee, i'll never experience having one! hehe kakaasar kasi halos lahat ng names na tinype ko e hindi available! e ako pa naman ang taong walang patience, kaya suko na agad ako! buti na lang mabait si leecute at pinagtiyagaan akong gawan! thanks lee!

wait, it is saturday right? and tomorrow is sunday and we're going to watch UAAP! hehehe woohoo! hatawan na naman sa pagcheer sa UP Fighting Maroons! exert lung and bronchitis to the nth power na naman! for the benefit of all, UP won against UST last sunday and we really hope they do it again this time. imagine, our org, the very prestigious and excellent UP LIKAS is going to bring a tarp which says something like this: "UP Lipunang Pangkasaysayan supports UP Fighting Maroons". hehe, im not sure of the exact words but the sense is still the same, nevertheless. and guess what's the purpose?! to be seen on national television! lakas ng trip no?! :)